Gadget3000's space

Here is a click-to-donate site where you can off-set one pound of CO2 with just a click of the mouse. Go to the site, click on the tree picture, one pound of CO2 will be off-set -- then repeat each day

http://stopglobalwarming.care2.com/

Also you could download this program:

Companies are trying to predict global warming and its effects and rather than by a room of supercomputers they are wanting thousands of people to donate their computer power. Other companies also use the same program for drug development, helping africa, developing new computer security and much more!

http://climateapps2.oucs.ox.ac.uk/cpdnboinc/download.php

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• Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
  
  A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

• What did the man get when he ran behind the car?

• What did the lady get when she ran infront of the car?

• What do generals use to hide their armies?

• Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
  
  A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries.  Dental records provided a positive identification.
  
  Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
  
  It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
  
  You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was do! ing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.  Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
  

• The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

• Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
  It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
  Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

• Nasa is looking for a new way to boost it's ratings. So they decide to send an ordinary woman into space. They place an add and are soon faced with three interviews. The first is a lovely looking woman with neat brown hair. They have only one question to ask which is: "If you could go to any planet, where would you go?"
  After a moment of thought the woman replies; "I would go to Mars."
  "And why would you like to go there?"
  "I find it very interesting and would like to see if there really is life there."
  The Nasa men are most impressed with this and promise to call her back and let her know their results.
  The next woman is a redhead with a very nice suit on. They ask her the same question to which she replies; "I would like to go to Saturn, so that I could see for myself what the rings look like."
  
  The Nasa guys are happy with this answer and promise to call her back.
  
  The next is a blonde woman wearing a very short skirt and VERY revealing top. They ask her the same question and she gives it a lot of thought and replies; "I would like to go to the sun."
  
  "But don't you know you would burn to death if you went to the sun?"
  
  "Oh don't be silly, I'd go at night."

• Baby Drop

  A soccer goalkeeper was walking along the street one day when he heard screams from a nearby building. He looked up to see smoke billowing from a fourth-floor window and a woman leaning out holding a baby.

  "Help ! Help!" screamed the woman, "I need someone to catch my baby!"

  A crowd of onlookers had gathered, but none was confident about catching a baby dropped from such a great height. then the goalkeeper, stepped forward. "I'm a professional goalkeeper," he called to the woman. "I'm renowned for my safe hands. Drop the baby and I will catch it. For me, it will be just like catching a ball."

  The woman agreed:"Ok, then. When I drop my baby, treat it as if you were catching a ball."

  On a count of three, the woman dropped the baby. Everyone held their breath as the goalkeeper lined himself up to catch it. There was a huge sigh of relief, followed by wild cheering as the goalkeeper caught the baby safely in his arms. Then he bounced it twice on the ground and kicked it 50 yards down the street.

• TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

  10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

  9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

  8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

  7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

  6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

  5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

  4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

  3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

  2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
    1. " ...... AMEN!"

• What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
  Cross mouse cards

• During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
  
  "Well,"  said the Director,  "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
  
  "Oh, I understand,"  said the visitor.  "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
  
  "No,"  said the Director,  "A normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window?"

   
• There was an English man, a Scots man and a Welsh man. One day they were out walking and some cannibles caught them and took them to their village in a forest. They said, "If you do not complete our challange then we will eat you. If you do complete it we will set you free. The challange is to go out into the forest and bring back 10 pieces of the same fruit." So they went out and the English man was the first back. He had brought 10 apples. So he gave the cannibles the apples and said, "I'll be off then." But the cannibles said, "Oh no. That was only the first part of the challange, the next part is to put all of the fruit up your bum without any expression or making any noises. So the English man put one up his bum fine. Then he treid the second and screamed out. The cannibles all jumped on him on at him. Next back was the Scots man. He had 10 Blueberries. The cannibles to him the same thing. So he got 1, 2, 3 and all the way up to 9 but then he started laughing. The cannibles were puzzled and asked, "you were so nearly there. Why did you laugh?" The scots man replied, "I've just seen the Welsh man. He is collecting pineapples."

• The following is not meant to be serious, I strongly discourage anyone from doing these things.
  
  Taken from an american website (hence the references to CAS, etc); you can guarantee you'll fail the exam (and probably be severly disciplined!) if you do any of these:
  
  1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the 15 minute warning is called. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
  2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”
  3. Respond to the written-answer questions in limerick form. (“There once was a trend factor from Cork....”)
  4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the proctor’s left nostril.
  5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure you can hear me thinking.”
  6. Bring cheerleaders.
  7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, run out, screaming, “I can’t take the stress anymore!”
  8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level.
  9. On the written answer questions find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.” Be creative.
  10. Bring pets.
  11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the proctor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.
  12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
  13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
  14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
  15. ************************************************** *********************************
  16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!
  17. Bring things to throw at the proctor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
  18. As soon as the proctor hands you the exam, eat it.
  19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the proctor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the proctor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
  20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
  21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
  22. On math-oriented written-answer exams, use Roman numerals.
  23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
  24. ************************************************** ************************************
  25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts. (i.e. Threaten the proctor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
  26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
  27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the proctor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
  28. ************************************************** ********************************
  29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.
  30. Relate the answers to all written-answer questions to your life story.
  31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say “you don’t really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!”
  32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
  33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the proctor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
  34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
  35. When answering math-related written answer questions, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.
  36. Come in wearing a full knight’s outfit, complete with sword and shield.
  37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
  38. Bring cheat sheets FOR A DIFFERENT EXAM and include them with your written answer papers with the comment: “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”
  39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
  40. After you get the exam, call the proctor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
  41. One word: Wrestlemania.
  42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
  43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
  44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
  45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol (e.g., The God/Goddess of Partial Credit). Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
  46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
  47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
  48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
  49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say “it helps me think.” Bring a copy of the Syllabus with you, challenging the proctor to find the section on musical instruments during exams. Don’t forget to use the phrase “Told you so”.
  50. Answer one written answer question with the “Top Ten Footnotes of The CAS Syllabus.”
  
  **** Too controversial to post! Sorry!